I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

The only difference between you and God is that you have forgotten you are divine.

I try not to let other people's problems problem me.

I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad, ” she said, by way of explanation.

Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with a healthy sense of self-respect.

In order to grow, you must learn to let go and strive toward something greater.

Part of the heartache of all missionary work is the bright promising convert who turns out to be a mere puffball, crumbling like a macaroon under the least pressure.

It's Hard to Stay Mad When There's So Much Beauty in the World

O blessed Saviour, give me grace like Thee, to make Religion my first, and chiefest care, and devoutly to observe, all solemn times, and all holy Rites, which relate to Thy worship.

Only those things the heart believes are true.