I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Do you think peace of mind can be found in holding a grudge… or harboring resentment… or wallowing in thoughts of what could have been? Me neither.

Embellishing a story for whatever reason proves you're a liar. Doing it in front of someone who knows the truth proves your stupidity.

Everyone had a dirty, little secret that is never spoken out loud to anyone. Which is another way of saying people are never what they seem.

If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct your life will be safe expedient and thin.

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

If all I cared about was me, I could make a million. And that's what they will never understand.

You lie. Worse, you lie poorly.

You can blame people who knock things over in the dark or you can begin to light candles. You're only at fault if you know about the problem and choose to do nothing.

The first thing that your should do when you win an Oscar is thank God. The second thing you should do is forget it. The third thing you should do is call your agent and tell him you need a job.

Knowledge is the vaccination that keeps you away from the flu of misery