I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CRITICS, LIKE I SAID THEY DONT BUY TICKETS.

Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling

Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.

I ALWAYS HAVE DONE WELL HOWEVER IN BLUE STATES AND RED STATES. IVE NEVER REALLY ALIGNED MYSELF WITH ALL THAT RED STATE BLUE STATE DR. SUESS CRAP BECAUSE WERE ALL AMERICANS AND WE ALL LIKE TO LAUGH.

Anything is possible with laughter. If you can laugh out loud, especially at a life of mistakes, you will come out unscathed.

You can disagree but do not fight.

Got caught in the rain, I see, " - Isabelle Lightwood

the people who mostly get angry on you mostly love you

The civil rights movement in the United States was about the same thing, about equality of treatment for all sections of the people, and that is precisely what our movement was about.

Most often it happens that one attributes to others only the feelings of which one is capable oneself.

I always feel like it is a privilege to be able to be an artist and to be able to exhibit my work all over the world.

Don't be ashamed of being a woman and don't be ashamed to be an accomplished woman.

Stumble is worse than falling, because stumble is not as instructive as the falling!

An idler is a watch that wants both hands; As useless if it goes as when it stands.