Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

As long as you know who you are, and see what makes you happy, it doesn't matte how others see you

The grass is not only greener on the side you water but also on the side you prevent preys from feeding on. Learn to keep out the preys and see your lawn flourish.

The chances of anything man-like on Mars are a million to one

To love others you've got to love yourself, but I love myself too much I've got no place for others.

He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.

Everybody knows something, and nobody knows everything.

Let them push you, but do not push; Let them crucify you, but do not crucify. Let them insult, but do not insult. Let them slander, but do not slander. Be meek, and do not be zealous in evil.

I think a lot of the way I live my life is not just for me, which has sometimes been a burden. A lot of the choices I make are in order to make them [my parents] proud.

For the first time ever, we have confronted in reality the sinister power of uncontrolled nuclear energy.