Face the fact that there's only one sure-fire way to erase credit card debt. By picking up a big, shiny pair of scissors and cutting your wife in half.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Religion flourishes in greater purity, without than with the aid of Government.

I'm too young to have kids, but I really want to be a mom. I don't know if it's a Latin thing, but I love kids.

There is no good father who would want to resemble our Heavenly Father.

I love to hand sew. I sometimes make clothing for my children, which of course they grow out of in a matter of minutes. I thoroughly love it.

Oh, you know. I am secretary of state. My trips aren't successful. I just talk to people.

We must grant the artist his subject, his idea, his donn´e: our criticism is applied only to what he makes of it.

For a long time, my uniform consisted of a trench coat, wide flared jeans, and little bottines - I copied a pair that my mother had in this theater place. I had, like, 10 pairs of the same shoes.

I am truly grateful. I'm a grateful human being.

Currently we don't have plans on conquering the world.

Because now it's the fans out there that are entertaining us, the developers, with their creations!