Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares.

You know, in our country lately we're more interested in protecting the criminals than we are in making sure that we're strong and powerful and know what we're doing.

Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I think history is collective memories. In writing, I'm using my own memory, and I'm using my collective memory.

Good actors never use the script unless it's amazing writing. All the good actors I've worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.

In music, all hearts are revealed to us.

Don't be arrogant, because arrogance kills curiosity and passion.

Hopped up out the bed / Turn my swag on

no two writers go about things in exactly the same way (intro)

Never forget that you are practicing a craft with certain principles.