Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Life is an amazingly mysterious and interesting game. To win, you have to play with the magical powers of love and kindness.

Ladies haven't the luxury of being squeamish about blood.

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream.

Oh literature, oh the glorious Art, how it preys upon the marrow in our bones. It scoops the stuffing out of us, and chucks us aside. Alas!

To turn away from the great questions and dilemmas of life is a tragedy, for the quest for meaning and truth makes life worth living.

It is at all times more easy to make enemies than friends.

In general, even if I'm dealing with a historical subject, I begin with invention rather than investigation, because I need to understand what is going to be the voice or the tone of the story.

Normally, if I'm being acknowledged it is for something in front of the camera. This puts the spotlight on the fact that there are opportunities other than just being an actor.

There are conservatives in Hollywood who make good movies. They just don't make conservative movies because that's not what gets funded.

Life is a loom, weaving illusion.