Debbie Gibson is pregnant with my two headed love child, it's a big foot baby all covered in fur.

Elvis is everywhere. Elvis is everything. Elvis is everybody. Elvis is still The King.

Rave music sounds like an electronic disco version of '30s Universal monster movies.

When I look out into your faces, you know what I see? I see a little bit of Elvis in each and every one of you out there.

National 21 drinking age, huh, what do you think about that? A bunch of malarkey, whatever malarkey is, man, it's a whole bunch of it.

Tiffany is wrestling in Jell-O.

Me and Don Henley are fast acquaintances now, or something. He actually got on stage and sang with me.

People from outer space they come up to me, they don't look like Doctor Spock, they don't look like Klingons, all that Star Trek jive. They look like Elvis.

I graduated from college in Ohio and bummed around for a while, and then I joined VISTA, which was a domestic Peace Corps kind of thing, and they sent me to Colorado.

She's vibrator dependent.

I thought I was the last American weirdo then I met Chris Chandler.

Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it's not worth having.

The Joseph in you must rise to the challenges of life and turn them into gold.

It's easy to be a saint when all you've known is the good.

It sounds formulaic now, but at the time, I was interested in the difference between the thing and the representation of the idea of the thing - the space between the two.

You see, unlike in the movies, there is no THE END sign flashing at the end of books. When I've read a book, I don't feel like I've finished anything. So I start a new one.

I am a ridiculous man. They call me a madman now. That would be a distinct rise in my social position were it not that they still regard me as being as ridiculous as ever.

When I think of some of my earlier work, it really seems a fortunate coincidence that I succeeded.

I knew when I was diagnosed with cancer the only thing I could control was what I ate, what I drank and what I would think.

America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread most, a "domestic disturbance.

I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love.