Damn! This flight attendant treating us like we won these first class tickets in a contest.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

Storms pass by on their way to get all the colors needed to paint your rainbow.

Seductive pull of the forest, an open canvas for trouble.

Why not touch things that we hate and turn them upside down and inside out?

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

Consult your spirit, your soul on everything.

Death is nothing at all; it does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room.

The tragedy of our time is that we've got it backwards, we've learned to love techniques and use people.

I feel more mature than most people my age.

We live in an age where in politics, people can't disagree with each other without good faith being questioned, there is always an ulterior motive - in it for the money, advance a career.

What better job is there for a 17-year-old girl than being in a pop group?