Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Even brave men blind themselves sometimes, when they are afraid to see.

O God that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should with joy pleas-ance revel and applause transform ourselves into beasts!

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

I want to be buried with a mobile phone, just in case I'm not dead.

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.

It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

Imagination continually frustrates tradition; that is its function.

Brexit and Trump's election are forcing countries to come up with new radical ideas.

Talent is a very potent aphrodisiac. When someone is incredibly gifted, I find them incredibly sexy.

The use of plant oil as fuel may seem insignificant today. But such products can in time become just as important as kerosene and these coal-tar-products of today.