Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Mystery is not profoundness.

About once a year, I do these long-distance relays with some friends of mine, and it takes about 27 or 28 hours to complete it.

It was a pretty fierce rivalry. I'm just speaking for myself, but I think it was general through the clubs. We didn't like them, and they didn't like us.

China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.

I also played in the 1967 Super Bowl against the Green Bay Packers.

Every American college student goes to college with a hard drive. They take their laptop. There's not a CD player in sight.

Never allow yourself to break, and always remain unbreakable.

People did not go jumping from one place to another with nothing in between. It simply did not happen.

If you say you're fat, all of a sudden people like you!

Give thy thoughts no tongue.