Committee meetings are always held at inconvenient times and usually take place in dark, dusty rooms the temperatures of which are unsuited to the human body.

Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.

Good shot, bad luck and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified.

The women sit, getting colder and colder, on a seat getting harder and harder, watching oafs, getting muddier and muddier.

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.

For a driver to be driven by somebody else is an ordeal, for there are only three types of drivers: the too fast, the timid and oneself.

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things. In the home the reverse is the case. This is why ladies are more sociable than gentlemen.

when we travel, most of us take too much. I always work on the assumption that I'm going to take everything with me because I don't want the second wife to have anything if the plane crashes.

a woman is not really dressed unless she is wearing a hat.

I have the perfect face for radio.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

I don't make people comfortable but that's what couches are for.

Conventional wisdom is not always the best wisdom.

Ambition is sneered at by some bands. It seems like a pretty good thing to me.

Life in the true sense is perceiving or thinking.

Whether we know it or not, our minds and hearts are populated by all the characters we will ever need - though we may disassemble them and rearrange the parts into composites for variation.

I know that at the core of each religion there is the truth, heavily obscured in some cases, but it's there.

Truth exists. The sole purpose of this proposition is to assert the existence of truth against imbeciles and sceptics.

We also get thousands of suggestions. The default answer is always no.

The evils of capitalism are as real as the evils of militarism and evils of racism.