Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup — that's it.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

...there are no sweeter words in the English language (or any other) than husband and wife.

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.

A great man stands on God. A small man stands on a great man.

Like the body that is made up of different limbs and organs all mortal creatures exist depending upon one another.

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

After I saw the first thing I ever did, I got a migraine.

The most important thing I learned is that soldiers watch what their leaders do. You can give them classes and lecture them forever, but it is your personal example they will follow.

War is a business in which a lot of people watch a few people get killed and are damn glad it wasn't them.

People don't want to commit until they have clarity, but clarity comes with movement.

I eat merely to put food out of my mind.