Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

She was a do-gooder, which means that all the ill she did, she did without realizing it.

Remember, the most common thing about common sense is how uncommon it is.

The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith.

In some countries a hunting parson is no uncommon sight. Such a one might make a good shepherd's dog, but is far from being the Good Shepherd.

Nothing can disturb the calm peace of my soul.

Your actions speak so much louder than words.

We are one of only three species on our planet that can claim to be self-aware, yet self-delusion may be a more significant characteristic of our kind.

The first distinction among men, and the first consideration that gave one precedence over another, was doubtless the advantage of beauty.

Small facts lead to great knowing.

There is so much we can learn from TV. It's a window on the world.