But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they’d never admit in normal conversation.

I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.

The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

The voice was cool, drawling, and insolent, but the eyes were something else. She looked about as hard to get as a haircut.

I have been told to reason by the heart, But heart, like head, leads helplessly; I have been told to reason by the pulse, And, when it quickens, alter the actions' pace

I am very mistrustful of people who are constantly over intellectualising things. It kills passion. You have to allow yourself to lose control from time to time.

[The loss-of-strength gradient is] the degree to which military and political power diminishes as we move a unit distance away from its home base.

Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

I don't care how much you love each other, if you have secrets, it'll never work. That's why she's your loved one, because it's the love of one. Togetherness, you are one.

Love is a journey, not a destination.

I grew up thinking I had very little value. It's not something I felt I could share with my mom so it was all inside me.

There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.