Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy

An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet

Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what

One day, and it may be long off, but one day there will be bacon again. It might be mouse bacon, but that will do for me.

Being good is easy, what is difficult is being just.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.

I like to spend as much time with my friends and family as possible.

What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest?

I always say that the times in my life when I've been happiest are the times when I've seen, like, a sunset.

Great pleasures are much less frequent than great pains.

I have a real passion for driving. Earlier on in my life I wanted to be a race car driver. But I don't pay an extortionate amount of money for cars. I'm pretty frugal.

Learn from the rejection and turn it into an opportunity!

If I remember, Russia, 20 or 30 years ago, you'd get shot trying to leave. Today, Russian tourists are all over the world. You have Russian oligarchs with big yachts all over the world.