At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Empty is the argument of the philosopher which does not relieve any human suffering.

It is never late to earn a degree, masters or doctorate. Learning has no age limit. All age groups are welcome to the act of learning.

If we chose to refuse irony, we risk becoming irony's dupe.

A name doesn't make the music. It's just called that to differentiate it from other types of music.

What is the alternative to understanding the complexity of the world?

And so there are so many good things going on all across Iraq and unfortunately that's not what the American people see on TV or they don't read a lot about it in the newspapers.

You realize, this is not just a little studio we go to make these television episodes. This thing is reaching everybody in the world! Suddenly you realize the power of television.

We are entering a new phase in human history - one in which fewer and fewer workers will be needed to produce the goods and services for the global population.

I think that if you're writing about the human condition, my God, you've got to start at base: point zero, point one, is the body.

Man suffers through lack of faith in God.