As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down.

I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts.

Art is the signature of civilizations.

There is a growing strength in women, but it is in the forehead, not in the forearm.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

I lived through the garbage. I might as well dine on the caviar.

There is no shortcut to anyplace worth going.

Attachment to spiritual things is... just as much an attachment as inordinate love of anything else.

When no one you know tells the truth, you learn to see under the surface.

Ignorance never yet helped anybody.

It sometimes is a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection from the object of it, she may loose the opportunity of fixing him.

I think basically I'm a painter, but I would use anything to make my point.

You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers.

Do goofy stories make people nice? What if, in their goofiness, these stories somehow inspire that in the right way. Is that a social good?

Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!

I don't know if you've ever had insomnia, but it's a really terrible feeling when it's days and weeks on end. It was kind of awful.

The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.