Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

In old days books were written by men of letters and read by the public. Nowadays books are written by the public and read by nobody.

I understand. I know about the women gathering at Lourdes, the visits worldwide. You are all staying at the chateau. There are no accidents, ” Lilli said.

To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.

The one thing I would like to do is be able to drop 15, 20 pounds. It would be good.

I do get lots of links to advance screeners, which helps, but there's no way I could do my job without the full-on cable subscription.

I'm very comfortable with being productive. I like doing things, and I like creating things. As far as being powerful, I guess I'm comfortable with it. It's not really how I think of myself.

Why, in our "free" country, do Americans meekly stand aside and let the state limit our choices, even when we are dying?

We will also be funding projects that empower women and children in Afghanistan and now and then give scholarships to Afghan students here in the Bay Area.

If we were never depressed we should not be alive; it is the nature of a crystal never to be depressed.

Taken as hypotheses, religious claims do very badly. Yet the striking fact is that this does not worry Christians.