Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

What is love, Mikayel? Isn't it the most irrational of all human emotions? And the one most forbidden?

There are still places to go, there are still dinners, there are still parties, and you can still get dressed up. That's part of having fun in fashion.

Movies are terrifically optimistic enterprises.

Selfless giving presupposes something - that there is a lumunious reality.

The Miami Heat has the best fans.

Ain't nothing greater than an x-rater with a nickname like Vibrator.

The way I think of the psychedelics is, they are catalysts to the imagination.

Everything is unpredictable once you are inside the ring.