Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.

I want to be a vampire. They're the coolest monsters.

He plants trees to benefit another generation.

If you just go out there and run 100 miles, it breaks down a lot of barriers in terms of self-imposed limitations.

I wish the world would become what God wanted it to be in the first place, before we tampered with it.

It is only when I lose contact with the painting that the result is a mess. Otherwise there is pure harmony, an easy give and take, and the painting comes out well.

Unity, to be real, must stand the severest strain without breaking.

I wound up studying art and design, got a job at Lonely Planet Publications as a designer, cartographer and illustrator.

He doesn’t scowl, but his mouth is so tense that I know he’s angry with me. 'Don’t be an idiot,' he says. 'An idiot?' Is he talking about the blanket? 'You were lying.

What's the point in fashion if nobody can wear it?