Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Learning how to make The Path to My Heart an everyday journey...the road MORE travelled

Be wise in time. What youth sows, old age must reap....Sow to yourself rather in righteousness: break up your fallow ground, sow not among thorns.

He didn’t utter threats. He delivered promises.

The father is the head of the home; the mother is the heart of the home; the children are the reward, the joy and the life of the home.

You're nothing if you're not special.

I feel very blessed to have been involved with some of the most complex surgical procedures in the history of the world.

We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks.

No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .

It’s one thing to be the greatest; it’s another thing to be necessary. The best are the most necessary: those who take less than they give and love more than they hate.

Don’t you two girls have something better to do, like pick out toe lint? (Acheron)