Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

So much of love is imagination -- its over-activity, its over-ambition, its over-the-top faith.

I will find a way -- or make one.

Courage! Suffering, when it climbs highest, lasts not long.

I'm not an awards-driven person in anything. Anytime you do get caught up in that, you usually end up getting whacked.

In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.

To wear a gray tweed suit, you have to be mature and confident in yourself. Some people can't pull it off.

When you don't know what you're searching for, you have to look absolutely everywhere.

Don't hang up until the client either buys or dies.

I skate now for fun and to keep myself in shape.

Nothing's about taking risks as much as doing stuff that other people haven't done before. Just like in racing, it's not about taking risks but trying to figure out how to be faster.