In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.

People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

Where friendship blooms, life is reborn.

When played together, love is music in life

A great idea always begins with unbounded inspiration.

The weapon of the brave is in his heart.

I go through stages. Randomly, I'll be attracted to a crazy rocker with tattoos. And I find that I'm extremely attracted to ambition and wit.

Zen has lost its zip, if you will, or its nothingness and has become ritualistic Its established in monastaries with strict codes of koan study.

I like to maintain a certain sense of fantasy in my life.

Mont Blanc is the monarch of mountains; They crown'd him long ago On a throne of rocks, in a robe of clouds, With a diadem of snow.

It's true that the human body is more vulnerable than the products of the human mind. We need to protect artists and journalists people to allow them to work.

People are always surprised by how much I love to eat. I guess I don't look like I eat that much, but I can put it away.