Ah! happy day they whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight his plan And cleanse his soul from Sin? How else but through a broken heart May Lord Christ enter in?

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.

It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.

I look up, and Jackson's eyes find mine. For a second, it almost feels like we're about to race into the hole to join you. Being buried alive has got to be better than whatever comes next.

Since the Bible is God’s Word, we shouldn’t be surprised if Satan tries to convince us otherwise.

Living, it can be sad too.

The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

Bounds should be set To ingenuity for being so cruel In bringing change unheralded on the unready.

Oh, honey, God don't care which church you go, long as you show up!

Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed.