Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The life I am experiencing, good or bad, is the collective result of the choices I have made, knowingly or unknowingly. When I accept this, I acknowledge that I have the power to create my destiny.

Women's glances express what they dare not speak.

What is essential is whether it is perceived and not whether it exists. To exist and yet not to be perceived is the same as not exist.

When one of those skirt-bearing animals has set herself up above all by permitting herself to be deified, no power on earth can be as proud as she.

I have always hated bowling, and I don't mind admitting it.

Some questions cannot be answered. They become familiar weights in the hand, round stones pulled from the pocket, unyielding and cool.

We're in one of the biggest tech bubbles we've ever had.

Even the ears must dance.

Anyone who doesn't win their conference has no business playing in the national championship game.