A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

Since humans are social animals, you’re basically only as good as your reputation.

The feeling must come first. If you actually feel rich, if you have a deep inner conviction that you will always have all that you need, it will be so.

Be calm in arguing; for fierceness makes error a fault, and truth discourtesy.

Boredom and fatigue are great historical forces.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

What you'll gain is the macro story. You'll get a good command of that. And what you might lose is some of the fun of it.

Cheese, wine, and a friend must be old to be good.

I would love to be able to pursue music as a career but honestly, I'm just not good enough.

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump.