A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Perhaps they didn't know they were at sea. Was there a certain percentage of people at sea who lacked the knowledge that they were at sea?

Find the courage to ask yourself the questions your afraid to hear the answer to? Why... Because it's the only way you'll know which direction your truth lays.

Though I had success in my research both when I was mad and when I was not, eventually I felt that my work would be better respected if I thought and acted like a 'normal' person.

Existence is perpetual motion. Galileo wondered about it, Da Vinci.

Film is not an easy occupation. There's a lot of occupations that are difficult and film is one of them.

I study a lot of the greats; I study the current people out now and what people are listening to now. I don't shun anything away; I just check it all out and make my own judgment.

The mentality, that's something you should be able to control. Whether you are healthy or not, how fast you can run - they aren't things you can work on, but the mentality should be.

[Lev] Tolstoy is not a boy-writer. He's a grown-up. And [Fedor] Doestoeivski is not a boy-writer.

The most important thing is just to be recognised as a legend, like the people call me. To have that title attached to your name, you've got to be a bad man. It's an honour to have that role.

I'm drawn to more than I'm allowed to do or asked to do, or probably should do. My whole career has been comedy, of a kind. I guess I've always existed in that world.