A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Use your money to meet the need of your neighbor

It's easier to be angry. It's harder to be positive and happy, I reckon.

Mankind might be divided between multitude who hate to be kept waiting because they get bored and the happy few who rather like it because it gives them time for thought.

In fact, 95% of the people in my films have been nothing less than a pleasure to work with.

Good cheese needs good companions.

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.

For those of you who worry that I am a skinhead and anything that goes along with that, I am not.

Everything we say about other people is really about ourselves.

Perfect love will never want the preeminence in everything, it will never want to take the place of another, it will always be willing to take the back seat.

Humor is the only thing that allows you to survive every pressure and crisis.