A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

I love with love, so that we all may love." ~ Amunhotep El Bey

Respect. Have it not only for others, but also for yourself.

How could he possibly bow deeply enough to honor a thousand-year-old samurai queen?

Charlotte blanched. 'I'm only a maid, miss.''A maid is still a woman.

Fun opens the doors to creativity, which then leads to inspiration, which then births passion, which all together equals both happiness and success!

People never cease to amaze us.

Philosophy means the complete liberty of the mind, and therefore independence of all social, political or religious prejudice... It loves one thing only... truth.

I'm always interested in encountering people who are synesthetic and seeing how they experience things.

I love my liberty too well to be in a hurry to give it up for any mortal man.

You couldn't put me in a social group setting. I'm probably a terrible anarchist deep down.