A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Without books, God is silent, justice dormant, natural science at a stand, philosophy lame, letters dumb, and all things involved in darkness.

Most governments strive to keep the masses from thinking

Suddenly you realize that you are the mother of the Universe, eager to protect, transform and care every soul of the world.

I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to their expectations instead of my own?

A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because worms are scarce.

Making money from money is like aerobatics.

When I come before these men I do not have to explain that we are all sinners. They have committed every sin there is. All I have to tell them is that I, too, am a sinner.

There is always a perfectly good excuse, always a reason not to. The hardest freedom to win is the freedom from one's excuses.

Writing a check separates a commitment from a conversation.

Dreams, books, are each a world.