Palin Quotes

Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.

The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?

This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English.

As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president.

Millions of American families are dealing with teenage pregnancy... It is true that some Americans will judge Governor Palin and her family. There's nothing anyone can do about it.

[Sarah] Palin is solidifying her status as a bona fide American cultural heroine.

If I had it to do over, I'd vote for Obama without hesitation. I'm very thankful that McCain and Palin aren't in office.

The [Sarah ]Palin endorsement as sort of vouching for Donald Trump is all about. She is the sort of tribune of not conservatism as ideology.

Donald Trump said it was his idea for [Sarah] Palin to bring up her son at the rally.

Let's not forget, Sarah Palin may not have a golden touch, but she gave Christine O'Donnell candidate a big touch that got her over the top.

I am not a clone of Sarah Palin. I have my own thoughts.

The United States ranks 14th in the world in education. Even if we subtract Sarah Palin's test scores, it only bumps us to third. Damn you, Finland!

On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'

The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language.

There's a new children's book that's coming out that features Sarah Palin as a hero. I don't want to give away the ending, but we finally find out who shot Bambi's mother.

Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses.

Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.

Sarah Palin. Remember Sarah Palin? She is adorable. She is back on the campaign trail. Really. She's going to campaign in the Senate runoff in Georgia. As soon as she finds out where Georgia is.

Sarah Palin is to women what John Wayne Gacy was to birthday clowns.

Sarah Palin is joining Fox News. The new slogan is 'hair and unbalanced.'

Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.

Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot.

During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!

Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'

Sarah Palin's book is big, 400 pages. She wrote the book herself and agonized over every word, and so will you.

Sarah Palin made her debut as a Fox News analyst. They finally found a job that she's not under-qualified for.

It isn't fate but fecklessness that has shoved Sarah Palin to the sidelines of national politics. The real tragedy is that she's taken a lot of other serious Republican women with her.

Wacko Glenn Beck is a sad answer to the Sarah Palin endorsement that [Ted] Cruz so desperately wanted. Glenn is a failing, crying, lost soul.

John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as running mate is the towering example of his poor judgment. Palins ignorance of public affairs is monumental.

Sarah Palin is treated like a bimbo sometimes, but she has never given the public the respect they deserve. She acts silly and doesn't know stuff. She didn't even finish her term.

Sarah Palin is an heir to the women's movement. She has not been constrained by gender. At no point in her life has she thought, 'I can't do that because I'm a woman.'

Sarah Palin embarrasses herself almost immediately upon opening her mouth to speak or upon moving her fingers to send messages to her dull flock.

Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin wrote a book.

For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quayle.'

With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000.

They determined who got the first question by a coin toss, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, what a coincidence, that's how I got picked.'

I actually prepared Vice President Biden for his debate in the last election. I played Sarah Palin. It's a little tough debating a woman.

Sarah Palin's a quitter.

Any party that would put Sarah Palin up on a pedestal will never have my support.

As much as I disagree with Sarah Palin, there's no denying that she was the victim of sexism.

Sarah Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America.

I have the greatest appreciation for Governor [Sarah] Palin and her family. There's great joy to know them.

Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin. They know that she's a role model to women and other - and reformers all over America. She's a reformer.

Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.

I was shocked [of Sarah Palin ], because beating up, you know, your girlfriend, your spouse, or acts of violence aren't one of the core symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

I think if we really break it down and talk about post-traumatic stress disorder, it's very different than the way Sarah Palin explained it.

Her [Sarah Palin] son went to Iraq under George W. Bush, but it gives us a chance to explain what post-traumatic stress disorder is.

I think that Sarah Palin really missed the chance to educate the public on what some of the challenges her son is actually facing.

Not only did I feel hurt that she [Sarah Palin] sort of misdiagnosed all of these veterans, but I think she sort of was wrong in the way she talked about the issue.

Conservatives like Palin and Reagan and others do seem to love the series, but so do people of all political stripes and backgrounds. I speak about the series' "radiant simplicity."