Humorous Quotes
The thing to remember about a kick is you go for his twigs and berries" ~Declan~
Despite his flaws, one has to admit that he is a whale-sized catch.”“I’ll be thrilled when someone harpoons him, ” Lillian muttered, making the other two laugh.
You know what you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing. He's already been told twice."Darryl the cop
They say you can judge a person by their book, but I say they will hide under the covers.
They view New York as Satan's waiting room." "If this is the waiting room, where does the guy reside or work?" "New Jersey, I assume, " Kyle said with a smile. "I mean, dude, have you been to Jersey?
How did you know they were there?" Glory asked. "Oh wait, I forgot, NightWings are all-knowing, all-seeing and all-brilliant, right?" "Don't forget al-wonderful and all-brilliant.
I am apparently the complete opposite of a sociopath. (Seriously. I took a test.) WHEW! #dodgedabullet
What is that thing? It looks like a model of the human digestive tract made from broken beer bottles and sadness.
What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!
-Cheap? I could have bought a whole pig with that coin jester. -Exactly my Lord. And while some may eat a mule, no one can ride a pig.
My sight, hearing and strength are superior and I can fly. What more do you want?
You act like the sorcerers are invading the continent for the sole joy of hunting me down and lobbing me off of tall objects.
I can do anything a man can do except get a hard-on--and that's only because I lack the equipment.
My best advice is never to address any woman as Madam unless she holds a high position in government or you happen to find yourself in a brothel speaking to its owner.
You do remember how dangerous I am with those?” “Aye, that’s the point. Everyone will duck and cover if they see you wielding these.” “Even my teammates?”“Especially your teammates.
if any of your body parts become detached due to an unfortunate encounter with a crank, I highly advise you leave said body part behind and run like hell. Unless it's a leg, of course.
God has given you the same brain, so use your own in stead of borrowing ideas from somebody else. Think about and fathom the ideas before following them.
You can't fall in love with someone in a day.""Romeo and Juliet did, " Melanie says, tugging me toward the exit."Yeah, and then they killed themselves a few hours later. Thanks for the pep talk, Mel.
Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can't make coffee.
And we’re at four. Alexis Ann, I think we’re in an abusive relationship.
Among the top ten things I've learned in life: when your hair stylist is having a bad day, reschedule.
I've been waiting for this a long time."-Martin "Let me guess that you're wishing for your IQ to break double figures?"- Alex V.
Sent from my CrackBerry Intergalactic Kommunikator that doubles as an Illuvian Disruptor Death Ray.
I engage in subtle stalking. That's entirely different and perfectly socially acceptable.
If you're committed, that just means you're in agreement your undertaking could be your ticket to the asylum.
