Humorous Quotes
We're going to the Underworld, " Izzy said. She bounced a little as she said it, her eyes bright and her tone implying that "the Underworld" was akin to "Candy Land.
Andrea: "....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix."Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
I like fish, " chirruped Tunstell."Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?""Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim.
And now leave me in peace for a bit! I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!""Good Heavens!" said Pippin. "At breakfast?
I tried to explain as much as I could, " Poppet says. "I think I made an analogy about cake.""Well, that must have worked, " Widget says. "Who doesn't like a good cake analogy?
He's given me enough homework to last ten years. I'm gonna die of nerdism.
Still trying to save the world?” “Always, ” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here.
If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.
I didn't do it, ' he insisted.'Then why did you run?' Sabrina asked.'And send rabbits to eat us! I'm a seven-year-old girl, ' Daphne said. 'Do you know how important bunny rabbits are to me?
Eww, " Jack said, and then giggled. "Yeah, and a Paris Hilton doll that had an optional brain."Aphrodite raised her brow at him. "Don't go all crazy. There are some things even Paris Hilton can't buy.
Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket, " she said. "There's no reason to share it with me.
Right at the flamingo orgy! Left at the multiethnic roof Santas! Straight past the pissing cherubs!
Yeah, my father is an egotistical douchebag, " he says roughly. "My name literally means Jonathan empire.
Don't beat yourself up, " said Charlotte. "True love can be so easily mistaken for other things-friendship, humane concern, indigestion...
A weapon, I told Horus. I need a weapon.I reached into the Duat and pulled out an ostrich feather.“Really?” I yelled.Horus didn’t answer
"If you want that kind of thing, call Nick. His advice is shit, but he really likes to give it.
And I'll wash your other clothes. Shall I also order you a new set of leathers?""Don't-" Wrath shut his mouth. "Sure. That'd be great. And, ah, could you get me some boxers? Black? XXL?
But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there, you'd be lost at sea now, wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land."(Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)
My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian, " Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much.
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.
If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair?
Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card...
(Malory, unhopeful: "I don't suppose you have any tea?" Jesse: "DO YOU WANT EARL GREY OR DARJEELING?" Malory: "Oh, sweet heavens!")
By the Angel, this place is barely better than a penny gaff, ” Gideon said. “Gabriel, don’t look at anything unless I tell you it’s all right.
Oh you two look delicious, " Bast said, licking her lips. "No, no-er, I mean wonderful. Now, off you go!
Your ma's dating?" Tim looks shocked. "I thought she pretty much confined herself to a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your dad screwed her over.
As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms.""Eh?""Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit.
Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me.Ella: If you think you can do it without getting lost.
Billy squinted at me. "Why are you letting them go?""Because they're real.""How do you know?""The one I was holding crapped on my hand.
Damon Scares me, ' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.''Can't.''Why not?''Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off
I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.
I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!
I let out a sound that was definitely not a whimper. It was something far more manly, no matter what it sounded like.
Time flies when you're falling down"...(not from a book, it's a lyric)
Throughout life try to remember...to always keep your head up high and your middle finger higher!
Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an ey