Humor Quotes

Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about.

First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country.

But I also made it clear to him [Vladimir Putin] that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view.

Don't write about what you don't know even if you don't know it.

It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny.

I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.

The Party System was founded on one national notion of fair play. It was the notion that folly and futility should be fairly divided between both sides.

When once you have got hold of a vulgar joke, you may be certain that you have got hold of a subtle and spiritual idea.

There is nothing better than humor to keep a marriage going.

I have always employed humor, and I think it's absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only free emotion.

We need to have a little humor in our lives. .If the time ever comes when we can't smile at ourselves, it will be a sad time.

Love, like a sense of humor, is now claimed by everyone even though Love, like a sense of humor, is rather more rare than not, and to most of us poor muddlers unbearable at full strength.

Kipling: Where's your sense of humor? Rebis: We're working on reconstructing it.

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

Without context, things are not scary. Without context, like humor, horror doesn't work.

There's a sense of humor within the Australian culture that prevails when one is in a rather difficult situation.

I see (humor) in the smallest things.

I often use humor as a tool in my writing, and sometimes that works and sometimes it sits alone just as a funny line.

It is just fun to play with [in "Mary and Jane"]. I think our sense of humor tends to go that way.

The best point of my novels, I think, is their humor. I want to keep many my works humorous.

Every time I do a movie like 'Finding Neverland' or 'Chocolat' or 'Shakespeare' in Love,' we deal with the creative process, but there's humor and fun along the way. I always love that kind of movie.

Humor in a relationship is so important. Many women will say that. Some say, 'If they can make you laugh, it's the sexiest thing on earth.'

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

Humor is a good way in general to get people together, I think. Of course, Danish humor is more ironic and sarcastic altogether.

Humor, however broad and genial, takes a narrower view than enthusiasm.

Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible.

Nothing so uncertain as general reputation. A man injures me from humor, passion, or interest; hates me because he has injured me; and speaks ill of me because he hates me.

I warn people, your 40s will require massive amounts of humor and humility.

The writer's Queen Victoria is his public, and he would do well to keep a bust of the old Queen on his desk with the legend "We are not amused" hanging from it.

The house of Lords must be the only institution in the world which is kept efficient by the persistent absenteeism of most of its members.

Drop the question of what tomorrow may bring, and count as profit every day that Fate allows you.

A jest often decides matters of importance more effectively and happily than seriousness.

I have a great sense of humor, but it has an ironic twist to it.

Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now.

My humor is very dry. To me it doesn't make sense.

Humor is serious work. But it keeps everybody at the table.

When you have humor, you have a base for collaboration. It is very important.