Golf Quotes

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

They say golf came easy to me because I was a good athlete, but there's not any girl on the LPGA Tour who worked near as hard as I did in golf. It's the toughest game I ever tackled.

I always putted without a glove but I have no idea why - I saw others doing it and copied them.

Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.

Moderation is essential in all things, madam, but never in my life have I failed to beat a teetotaller.

If you're stupid enough to whiff, you should be smart enough to forget it.

Never try a shot you haven't practised.

Here Eddie, hold the flag while I putt out.

If I could have shot 69 in the last round every time, I would have won nine U.S. Opens. Nine!

Golf is not a fair game, so why build a course fair?

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

There is no surer or more painful way to learn a rule than to be penalized once for breaking it.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

That's the easiest 69 I ever made.

I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.

Golf always makes me so damned angry.

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

On the value of blind shots to golf course design.

Always count your blessings. Be thankful you are able to be out on a beautiful course. Most people in the world don't have that opportunity.

My caddie dared me to try it, but I didn't think it was worth losing a ball.

The best thing about Eisenhower's Presidency was his Jeffersonian conviction that there should be as little government and as much golf as possible.

I just hitch up my girdle and let 'er fly.

Most people who play golf have one big trouble: they think too much. To get any real mileage out of this game you've got to sit on your imagination.

Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.

He [Bill Clinton] told me that he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, becasue he was a caddie.

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

Here were decent godless people; Their only monument the asphalt road And a thousand lost golf balls.

When you're having trouble and topping the ball, it means the ground is moving on you.

Give me a man with big hands and big feet and no brains and I'll make a golfer out of him.

No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfer's mind.

I think it's more than whether or not you win or lose. It's having that opportunity on that final round, final nine, to come down the stretch with a chance to win.

Tempo is the glue that sticks all elements of the golf swing together.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the most bitter.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

Golf is recognized as one of the more difficult games to play or teach. One reason for this is that each person necessarily plays by feel, and a feel is almost impossible to describe.

Golfers should not fail to realize that it is a game of great traditions, of high ideals of sportsmanship, one in which a strict adherence to the rules is essential.

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.

Perhaps the most important thing I can tell you about equipment is to experiment and keep an open mind.

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

Scoring comes from being able to preserve what you've got and play your smart shots when you need to play them and not do stupid things and take advantage of things when have you them.

Anybody who plays golf will tell you that you play against yourself.

The winner of this tournament doesn't just win a major. He become a part of the history of the game.

I can beat any two players in this tournament by myself. If I need any help, I'll let you know.

Colin Montgomerie is a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

He may have gone to bed three hours ago, but he knows who he is playing. You can rest assured that he hasn't slept a wink.