Funny Quotes
And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll"-Kaname Kuran"I DONT WANT IT!"-Zero Kiryu"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"-Juri Elizabeth Marin
He immediately went down with a thud and I was pretty certain most of the furniture in the room jumped when he landed.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes.
There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.
My daughter asked if the boogie man was scary. I said, "Not as scary as the boogie woman.
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.
There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident
I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!
I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.
If we get a 3D printer at the office, the first thing I’m printing with it is a new 3D printer just for me!
The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.
The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that traders were quite busy already.
Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.
The old agility was still present and the passion was undeniable, but it was the wobbling of the gut, the puffing of the cheeks and the profuse sweating that lent the performance its true magic.
It's early on a beautiful winter morning. The house is quiet. The sun is shining. I'm thankful. I'm happy. My cup runneth over. Now there's coffee everywhere.
But after dealing with Roy for a while I just wanted to get through the time I’d signed on for, to prove to myself that I couldn’t be beaten by a girly-faced, chicken-boned, racist cat.
Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than dim sheep.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers. Now girls drink like their fathers and boys dress like their mothers.
I whispered across the bars to Jackaby as I rose, "Shall I tell them the truth?""Have you killed anyone?" he asked, quietly."No, of course not!""Then I can't imagine why you shouldn't.
I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it’s cute.
Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something shiny and we lose her again.
She thinks you're stalking me.""Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is.
You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.
Lea, you know you should never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think.
Best to have only a few absolutely perfect trait - for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality - so you don't overwhelm.
Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir, ’ said Carrot‘What, in Ankh-Morpork?’‘Yes, sir.’‘We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value
There was a silence. Elliot was surprised, because he would have thought the sound of every atom in his body exploding with indignation might make some noise.
Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir, ’ said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’Yes, sir.’‘We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value
Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW
Normally ghosts didn't scare him. (Assuming, of course, Gaea hadn't encased them in shells of stone and turned them into killing machines. That had been a new one for him.)
If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.