Funny Quotes

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.

It needs to said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive car theft ever!

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.

Sometimes you do know, in 'Commando' when I said 'I lied', I knew that it was going to be a funny line. I've never had a bad line.

If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.

Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.

I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love.

Adolescence is a kind of emotional seasickness. Both are funny, but only in retrospect.

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.

Caution! Be very careful of false, meaningless, self-contradictory, and not even very funny warnings, like this one.

I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!'

It takes a lot of energy to be funny... for me it does. I feel like I work twice as hard when I'm doing comedy.

I realized two things from an early age - I was insane and had some kind of comedic thing going on. My brain was wired to think about things in terms of how funny they were.

I think it's nice to get a break from all of the big Hollywood comic book action-movies and see something that's relatable and funny and interesting.

It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections.

Better a bald head than none at all.

As humans we speak one language.

I think absurdist humor is funny.

I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

With a sketch show, it's "a bunch of people and they're being funny." In a way that you can't really explain it.

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

The presidency has a funny way of making a person feel the need to pray.

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful.

Going before an audience of people who expect you to be funny is tough. Going before an audience that expect you to be boring, and then being a little funny, is much easier. I prefer easier.

Sometimes you're not getting the laughs you want or at the place you want but that doesn't mean it's not funny. It means you haven't explored it enough.

All my drawings always sort of looked funny even if I was trying to do serious stuff and express myself about grim situations. It was always cartoony.

In your heart you know he's right.

Wouldn't have pegged you for a dancer," he spoke to my mind "Funny, I would have pegged you for a stalker," I shot back.

It's funny, 99% of the time, haters and the 1 they hate on have everything in common and could be best friends.

Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.

Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank stares at "rabbi got faint at sight of blood."

I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over.

It's weird that people expect me to be funny. I find it a real burden when I'm expected to be humorous on talk shows.

There's a sense here in L.A. that everybody's aware of everybody all the time. It's funny but we choose it. People who are here want to be here, including me.

I wanted to be funny for people who didn't care about fashion at all, to just to kind of exist as a silly character.

I wanted to take the audience on a journey where that transition was funny and awkward. It's the same cynicism that [Strange] has.

Young singers ask me, "Do I have to live in New York?" I say, "You can live wherever you want-as long as people think you live in New York."

No matter what your native tongue is, no matter what part of the world you're from, if your native tongue is distorted with an accent, somehow that's always funny.

Her Majesty is not a subject.

In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money.

I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.

Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.

I have so much respect for what's funny.

FBI Girl is touching and funny, inspiring and tragic, enlightening and sad. I closed the book with tears in my eyes and admiration in my heart for the girl Maura Conlon was and the writer she became.

As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.