I have so much respect for what's funny.

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

I shall never come personally to terms with the Christian lie.

When I got my tour card I cried. When I got my first win - and my first pay check - I cried. All these things make me cry.

You are worried that the religious Right might succeed in forcing their values onto us? I am worried they might fail.

I am a law only for my kind, I am no law for all.

When given the chance, women have proven they will participate in the electoral process.

The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves.

The odds against an adoptee ending up as the child of the President of the United States are staggering. But then, so are the odds against a movie star becoming president

Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.

The only prudence in life is concentration.

God makes originals not carbon copies. It's okay to be inspired by someone, but be bold enough to be yourself.