Funny Baseball Quotes

Funny Baseball Quote of the day

Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs.

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

It's like deja-vu, all over again.

You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning, you got off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking

I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife.

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.

I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.

His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.

He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light.

He [Steve McQueen] must have made that before he died.

I'd find the fellow who lost it [million dollars], and, if he was poor, I'd return it.

When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny?

Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.

I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.

Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.

I had never been to second base.

When you lose your hands, you can't play baseball.

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.

Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.

Third ain't so bad if nothin' is hit to you.

Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.

At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.

George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.

I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.

The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.

That home run ties it up, 1-0.

That was like swatting June bugs off a fly.

From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"

Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows.

Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy.

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.