Terry Pratchett Quotes

When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth.

I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.

It's still magic even if you know how it's done.

It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.

But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.

People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.

Do you know how wizards like to be buried?" "Yes!" "Well, how?" Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Reluctantly.

People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.

Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

I grow as many of our vegetables as I can, because my granddad was a professional gardener, and it's in the blood.

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.

...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.

You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say.

I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted.

Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

Personal’s not the same as important. People just think it is.

Knowledge is dangerous, which is why governments often clamp down on people who can think thoughts above a certain caliber.

There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.

I try to make computers say things like You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance.

When all else failed, she tried being reasonable.

Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.

A bad hunter chases. A good hunter waits.

He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.

You have to start out learning to believe the little lies. "So we can believe the big ones?" Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.

His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found a reason not to be.

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.

Some shadows are so long, they arrive before the light.

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins.

Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was.

I know loads of coppers and dealt with them a lot when I was a journalist - coppers are easy to write for; they tend to run on rails.

The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.

This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.

This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.

Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.

The pamphlet was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

I have a suspicion - I have to be careful what I say - that you might actually find the best comics actually written by people who are comics writers and who aren't setting out to do graphic novels.

You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.

A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.

Banana daiquiris aren't knock-'em-back-by-the-flagon.

Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.