Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Our human lives serve much like frames for our spiritual lives.

You know there's an old african proverb that i made up: "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Such discoveries have led me, and other geologists, to reconsider the evidence previously derived from caves brought forward in proof of the high antiquity of Man.

I've seen death and I didn't like it.

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

Somehow I knew that no matter what I chose to tell or to keep secret, he would understand.

Some people, when they die, leave so much life behind that we wonder how they did it.

We protect nature not for nature's sake but for our own sake because it's the infrastructure of our communities.

A statesman wants courage and a statesman wants vision; but believe me, after six months' experience, he wants first, second, third and all the time - patience.

It's very rare, as an actor, to be someplace - to have an address, so to speak.