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Molly Harper Quotes

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Molly Harper Quotes: "I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage."

I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage.



Molly Harper Quotes: "You can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl."

You can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl.




Molly Harper Quotes: "There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders."

There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Vampires have bright eyes glistening white teeth unnaturally smooth skin and a certain animal magnetism. If they aren't pretty they starve. It's sort of like life in Los Angeles."

Vampires have bright eyes glistening white teeth unnaturally smooth skin and a certain animal magnetism. If they aren't pretty they starve. It's sort of like life in Los Angeles.




Molly Harper Quotes: "The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on."

The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on.



Molly Harper Quotes: "If you want to hurt me, fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I am sleeping. But nobody, nobody screws with my dog."

If you want to hurt me, fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I am sleeping. But nobody, nobody screws with my dog.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Love? Love is for children and poor people..."

Love? Love is for children and poor people...




Molly Harper Quotes: "Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours, ” I said. “I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them."

Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours, ” I said. “I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Ophelia was beating some poor underling for not knowing her arse from the sparse collection of cells between her ears."

Ophelia was beating some poor underling for not knowing her arse from the sparse collection of cells between her ears.



Molly Harper Quotes: "...I supplied in a tone so saccharine that it should have tipped him off that his testicular health was in serious peril."

...I supplied in a tone so saccharine that it should have tipped him off that his testicular health was in serious peril.



Molly Harper Quotes: "It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn the rules. There was a label maker involved. I'd rather not go into it."

It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn the rules. There was a label maker involved. I'd rather not go into it.



Molly Harper Quotes: "I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are not my people. Now, book-club people—"

I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are not my people. Now, book-club people—




Molly Harper Quotes: "If one is going to spend her afternoon singing hymns to the great porcelain goddess, she might as well do it in a really plush ladies room. Stupid fear of public speaking."

If one is going to spend her afternoon singing hymns to the great porcelain goddess, she might as well do it in a really plush ladies room. Stupid fear of public speaking.



Molly Harper Quotes: "I held it together for the rest of the drive home but as soon as Kelsey dropped me off I flopped face down on the couch and sobbed like a reality TV star on confessional day."

I held it together for the rest of the drive home but as soon as Kelsey dropped me off I flopped face down on the couch and sobbed like a reality TV star on confessional day.



Molly Harper Quotes: "There was not a lot of room for someone like me, who kept the gossip mill running like a hamster wheel."

There was not a lot of room for someone like me, who kept the gossip mill running like a hamster wheel.



Molly Harper Quotes: "because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.” And then I hung up on him."

because daytime leaves vampires less than, well, conscious, I told him, “Take your muffins to Boston and shut it, Terrance.” And then I hung up on him.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Wait until you meet my family. At Thanksgiving, we kill everything we can find, put it into a pot, and call it 'holiday gumbo'."

Wait until you meet my family. At Thanksgiving, we kill everything we can find, put it into a pot, and call it 'holiday gumbo'.



Molly Harper Quotes: "This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel!"

This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel!



Molly Harper Quotes: "Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory."

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!"

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!



Molly Harper Quotes: "She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are."

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Idiot, " I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other, " he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground."

Idiot, " I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other, " he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.



Molly Harper Quotes: "I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked."

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD."

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students."

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?"

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?




Molly Harper Quotes: "My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa."

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.



Molly Harper Quotes: "Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?"

Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?



Molly Harper Quotes: "Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?"

Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?



Molly Harper Quotes: "You can't worry about the future so much that you miss out on the present."

You can't worry about the future so much that you miss out on the present.



Molly Harper Quotes: "To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues."

To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.