Josh Stern Quotes

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried

If positivity is not your mindset, then reset

positivity is the father of reinvention

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on

Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of

If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp?

Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort

Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth

The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one

When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity

To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it

If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody

I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing....

Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job

Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert

Never be paralyzed by fear, just by falling off a cliff

Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them