David Quotes
Somebody asked me the question not too long ago: 'Dave, do you think the music business has turned corrupt.' I said: 'Absolutely not - it has always been corrupt.'
In the United States, you can put on a cowboy hat and join the country-western neighborhood. If you're down below 14th Street in New York City, that's bohemian; that's left-wing.
There is an air of last things, a brooding sense of impending annihilation, about so much deconstructive activity, in so many of its guises; it is not merely postmodernist but preapocalyptic.
Poetry criticism at its worst today is mean in spirit and spiteful in intent, as if determined to inflict the wound that will spur the artist to new heights if it does not cripple him or her.
The drop in pending home sales is an affirmation that we are experiencing a modest slowing in the housing sector.
You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.
Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big man, I think 230 pounds -- 235 with cologne.
Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.
Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.
Every year when it's Chinese New Year here in New York, there are fireworks going off at all hours. New York mothers calm their frightened children by telling them it's just gunfire.
Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.
There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.
Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'
Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.
Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.
How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.
Hillary Clinton could use one of these Apple Watches. She could hook it up to her secret email account. If you want to contact Hillary, she's at [email protected].
Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms.
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.
Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.
I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a message to Wall Street than by sitting in a pup tent banging on a drum.
The Mars Polar Lander has been quieter than George W. Bush after a foreign policy question.
Tip to out-of-town visitors. If you buy something here in New York and you want to have it shipped home, be suspicious if the clerk tells you they don't need your name and address.
There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
There is no such thing as no choice. There is always a choice. The only question is whether it's a bearable one.
She is my first and only love. Most people know that their first love will not be their only love. But for me, she is both.
I could point out that it isn't always easy knowing who you are and what you want, because then you have no excuse for not trying to get it.
People often say that when couples are married for a long time, they start to look alike. I don't believe that. But I do believe their sentences start to look alike.
You like him because he's a lost boy. Believe me, I've seen it happen before. But do you know what happens to girls who love lost boys? They become lost themselves. Without fail.
I don’t want you to think I got through this undamaged, okay? But I’m learning to live with it. Because otherwise, the damage is all you are.
It’s up to you, not fate. True. But it was also up to Lily. That was the trickiest part.
Magic naturally fades over distance. But proximity - well, when it works, proximity amplifies magic.