Bo Burnham Quotes

I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?

Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will not die.

Coincidence is God's way of performing miracles anonymously.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!

I think our animals are angels, earth-angels, pointing out for us the steadfast path of love, loyalty, optimism, faith, joy, hope. They teach us everything important about life.

Do you guys like impressions? "Why?" That was Socrates.

I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.

I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.

Where there is no alternative there is no problem.

I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

Consensus is something you have if you cannot have agreement.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.

A shiver runs down your spine when you realize it is not our imagination. Something is watching us out there.

Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty.

Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

prayer is nothing more than thought. It is a yearning of the heart.

Prayer is a law of the universe, like gravity. You don't even have to believe in God to ask.

Men had suddenly become a scarce commodity, if not quite as sought after as rice.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

A girl never can predict who might wander into her boudoir during a bubble bath.

We've had a day of great drama and of humour too. The rumour mill is now taking over

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.

I don't consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos.

I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.

I just like to write and then perform.

A noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die.

There is nothing that sharpens a man's senses so acutely as to know that bitter and determined enemies are in pursuit of him night and day.