A.A. Allen Quotes

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.

It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life

One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.

Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: Frequently there must be a beverage.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, [Cloquet thought, ] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,

We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices...

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

bullshit french post-war rationalizing

All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.

No matter how much you learn in college, it never prepares you for the real world.

Some guy hit my fender the other day and I said unto him "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to a hundred.

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

I'm not the heroic type really. I was beaten up by Quakers.

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect but I still love him.

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

Showing up is eighty percent of life.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If you're not failing you're not trying anything.

The best thing to do is to behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen and under try not to go bald.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have instead of what you don't have.

How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.

The worst that you can say about him (God) is that basically he's an underachiever.

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve it through not dying.

Ninety percent of living is just showing up.

Life doesn't imitate art it imitates bad television.

I do not believe in an afterlife although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.