people think they know what they're getting, and they're always wrong.

Everytime I look at a zebra, I can't figure out whether it's black with white stripes or white with black stripes, and that frustrates me.

Love is not a because, it's a no matter what.

The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you'd ever believe at first glance.

There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations.

There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing -- light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light.

You can't look back - you just have to put the past behind you, and find something better in your future.

Until this moment, I had not realized that someone could break your heart twice, along the very same fault lines.

The wolves knew when it was time to stop looking for what they'd lost, to focus instead on what was yet to come.

If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?

‎Pick ten strangers and stick them in a room, and ask them which of us they feel sorrier for - you or me - and we all know who they'll choose.

The problem with having evil minions is that minions are stupid.

I am selfish. I am brave.

Reality prior to my language exists as an unthinkable thought. . . . life precedes love, bodily matter precedes the body, and one day in its turn language shall have preceded possession of silence.

Every man meets his Waterloo at last.

There are no freelance Christians; there is no solo-flying to heaven.

Especially in the world of comedy, it feels like you have to be proactive, in terms of pitching and trying to sell and being a part of the creation of the stuff that you do.

The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.

Suffering accepted and vanquished. . . . will give you a serenity which may well prove the most exquisite fruit of your life.

Christian Science … is the direct denial both of science and of Christianity, for Science rests wholly on the recognition of truth and Christianity on the recognition of pain.

In seeking to serve social needs because it makes good business sense to do so, a corporation is doing what it knows how to do best.