You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

Wear them, they will make you brave.

Experience, they say, is the best teacher, but we get the grade first and the lesson later.

England is unrivalled for two things - sport and politics.

There is a British pop group called God. At a recent book signing the lead singer introduced himself and gave me a cassette. I have heard the voice of God.

You sacrificed for us - you're the real MVP.

Company's vision must be driven by the aspirations of its customers.

Many people start a business only to make money. Just to make money is not a strong enough mission.

You want to be a part of something that is going to change history or make history or be bigger than yourself.

If you don’t vote, you don’t matter.

Even if you're in charge of the grand story there's still memory. The other stories do not go away.