Women and elephants never forget.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Women are like sparkling diamonds, if you let too many hands touch it, not only will it get dirty with too many smudges and finger prints, it will also lose its shine and lustre.

That's how the madness of the world tries to colonize you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality.

Even the good things from our pasts still only belonged in the past

She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, easily the most breathtaking girl in the room.

And the book (#7) is for whenever the hunt involves a lot of waiting around. Entertainment that won't eat up my batteries is always worth bringing.

In Ohio seasons are theatrical. Each one enters like a prima donna, convinced its performance is the reason the world has people in it.

Who expects to be able to go out of a house except by the door? How is it then that no one follows this Way of ours?

Better make friends with an ignoramus who is liberal with his money and of a pleasing disposition than with a scholar who is mean and irascible.

I'm an emotional guy, so I don't have to worry about a girl trying to get me to open up.

Anybody who is afraid of reading a page of text is not the reader that I want.